About this time, every year, a three word phrase begins to be heard, first as a small whisper that we shrug off. Then a low rumble begins to grow and as it barrel towards us at full speed it gets louder, and eventually there is a massive collision between our family and that phrase... it sounds like this:
"Back to School"
As the summer break heads back into hibernation, families everywhere prepare for the transition back to school. This time of year can be both exciting and stressful, with new routines and responsibilities appearing. Creating a healthy rhythm for your family can ease this transition, helping everyone adjust smoothly and maintain a sense of balance. As a former stress-tolerator, I know what it feels like. But as a current peace-maker... I'm here to tell you that you CAN have a joyful, pleasant transition back to school. Here are a quick 10 thoughts/tactics to eliminating stress as the new school year begins.
1. Reflect and Plan Together
Family Meeting: Start with a family meeting to discuss the upcoming changes. Encourage each family member to share their feelings about the end of summer and the start of school. Use this time to review any goals or expectations for the school year. You can even create a summer scrapbook or a photo album together. This not only helps preserve those memories but also provides closure to the season, preparing everyone for the upcoming changes.
Set Goals: Together, set both individual and family goals. Whether it’s academic or athletic achievements, extracurricular activities, or personal growth and development, having crystal clear objectives will help everyone get focused and excited about the new year, and revisiting them often will help everyone stay motivated throughout.
2. Adjust Gradually
Begin adjusting your family’s schedule gradually. A few weeks before school starts, slowly shift bedtimes and wake-up times to align more closely with the school schedule. This gradual change helps avoid the shock of an abrupt transition and ensures everyone is well-rested for the first day of school.
Pro-Tip: Don’t schedule a family vacation or any extended travel within 2-3 weeks of school starting back. This is a great window of time to begin your “downshift” into school-year rhythms.
3. Establish Consistency
Morning Routine: Create a morning routine that allows everyone to start the day calmly and efficiently. This might include setting specific wake-up times, having breakfast together, and preparing school bags the night before. Make sure to schedule in plenty of margin for those kids (& adults) who seem to drag a little behind in the mornings.
Pro-Tip: Design a checklist that includes all the necessary tasks, such as brushing teeth, getting dressed, and packing lunches. Post it in your family’s natural gathering spot. This not only helps children understand what’s expected of them but also fosters independence and responsibility.
After-School Routine: An after-school routine helps children transition from school to home. This can include a snack time, homework period, and some free play or relaxation time. Set timers to make sure to maintain balance.
Evening Routine: End the day with a consistent evening routine. This might involve family dinner, some screen-free time, and a bedtime routine that ensures everyone gets enough rest.
4. Prioritize Quality Time
Family Dinners: Make family dinners a priority. This is a great opportunity to reconnect, discuss the day, and enjoy each other’s company. Aim for at least a few meals together each week, if not every day.
Weekend Activities: Plan regular weekend activities that the whole family can enjoy. Whether it’s a hike, a movie night, or a game day, having fun together strengthens family bonds and creates lasting memories.
5. Balance Commitments
Limit Extracurricular Activities: While extracurricular activities are important, it’s crucial to find a balance. Overcommitting can lead to stress and burnout. Ensure that each family member has downtime to relax and recharge. Plan a day every week for the entire family to unplug and do something life-giving.
Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries for work and school-related tasks. Encourage everyone to complete their work during designated times to ensure that evenings and weekends remain family-focused. This will eliminate that old “it’s 10pm and there’s a science project due tomorrow morning at 8am” nightmare.
Create Space: Find a quiet and organized space for homework and studying. Set a specific time each day for academic activities to ensure consistency. Encourage good study habits and provide support when needed, but also allow children some autonomy to manage their tasks independently.
6. Promote Independence
Age-Appropriate Responsibilities: Assign age-appropriate chores and responsibilities to each family member. This not only teaches valuable life skills but also develops new levels of independence and accountability.
Pro-Tip: You must inspect what you expect. Define and clearly communicate consequences for each child. Hold them to their responsibilities, but as the parent - you must hold up the standards as well as your end of the bargain if those standards aren't met.
7. Fight for Organization
Family Calendar: A family calendar can be a lifesaver during the school year. Use it to keep track of school events, extracurricular activities, doctors appointments, and any/all family commitments. This helps everyone stay informed and reduces the chances of scheduling conflicts.
Pro-Tip: Use a shared calendar across all family devices. This prevents “I didn’t know we were doing that/going there/etc” because everyone will have the family calendar on their phone/tablet/computer/etc. Also, if you trust your kids with a smartphone, teach them the responsibility of adding their own schedule to the family calendar. (We do this on Sunday nights at Family Dinner… see #4)
8. Encourage & Expect Self-Care
Nutrition: Proper nutrition plays a crucial role in your children’s ability to focus and perform well in school. Plan and prepare balanced meals and snacks that provide sustained energy throughout the day. Involve your children in meal planning and preparation to teach them about healthy eating habits.
Physical Activity: Physical activity is essential for overall well-being. Ensure your children have time for outdoor play, sports, or other physical activities. This not only helps them stay healthy but also serves as a great way to relieve stress and unwind after a long day at school.
Parents Too: This isn’t just for kids. Parents need to prioritize their own well-being so that they are available for their kids through childhood and adolescence.
9. Foster Open Communication
Looking for a great way to open up lines of communication...? At family dinners, go over "highs, lows, and buffaloes" from the school day.
Highs: a big win, achievement, blessing or something you are generally excited about.
Lows: a desolation, tough lesson, obstacle/hurdle or something that brought you down.
Buffaloes: something you just did not see coming!
Encourage everyone to share their experiences, challenges, and achievements. Ask your kids how each of those things made them feel. Share your own with them. Being an active listener shows that you value their feelings and helps build a supportive environment where they feel comfortable discussing anything.
10. Be Flexible and Adapt
Lastly, remember that flexibility is key. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes (lots of times) things don’t go as planned. This is why you want “rhythm” and not “routine.” Rhythms are fun, fluid, and flexible while routines are typically harsh, rigid, and difficult to change. Be prepared to adapt as needed and approach changes with a positive attitude. Your ability to stay calm and flexible sets a great example for your children.
Transitioning from summer to the school year doesn’t have to be a stressful experience.
By establishing a healthy family rhythm, you can create a structured yet flexible environment that supports your children’s growth and well-being (and removes stress from your life!). Embrace this new season with positivity and enthusiasm, and your family will thrive in the months ahead.
Wishing you the easiest back to school season ever. Let us know how we can help!
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